<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Don't Go Breaking My Heart by Clairevoiyant (orphan_account)</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25932916">Don't Go Breaking My Heart</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Clairevoiyant'>Clairevoiyant (orphan_account)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel Cinematic Universe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Amnesia, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arguments, Future Fic, M/M, Married Life, Original Child Character(s) - Freeform, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Tony Stark Is a Good Bro, mentions of homophobia and racism</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 01:26:36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,134</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25932916</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Clairevoiyant</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After taking a bad hit in a mission, Rhodey wakes up missing 15 years of memories. He's not happy about one of the choices he made.</p><p> </p><p>Orphan work: I've deleted my account but still feel free to comment and leave kudos - I may see it one day!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James "Bucky" Barnes &amp; Steve Rogers, James "Rhodey" Rhodes &amp; Tony Stark, James "Rhodey" Rhodes/Steve Rogers, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Steve Rogers &amp; Tony Stark</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>28</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is my first fic, I hope you enjoy it!</p><p>This fic has a timeline where Thor actually killed Thanos the first time during Infinity war; the Rogues were pardoned after.</p><p>Thanks to @lovelyirony on tumblr whose consistent writing inspired me to actually sit down and write - check out her work if you love anything involving Rhodey!</p>
    </blockquote><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Rhodey wakes up in hospital after something went wrong during a mission.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jim groaned.</p><p>He tried moving his head slightly but was met with intense pain. Slowly, he began assessing his surroundings: flat pillow, chilled air and the sting of fluorescent lights through his closed eyes. Oh God, he was in a hospital.</p><p>Once the pain began to numb he attempted to open his eyes. <em>Tony </em>he immediately thought, who was staring at the ground with shuddered breaths. A pang of guilt stabbed him because now, for the second time in not much time, his best friend had to be sat in one of the few buildings he feared, faced with the fragile mortality of life.</p><p>“Tony”- wait, that wasn’t Rhodes’ voice…</p><p>“He’s awake.”</p><p>It was Rogers, sounding both relieved and upset. Rhodey turned to him and saw him examining him with precision and, in what must have been Jim’s imagination, genuine concern. His body language only supported this: his eyes were red and he was slightly hunched due to probably hours of sitting.</p><p>Quite frankly, it made Jim uncomfortable. As if he was caught naked by the one person in class who you know dislikes you. So he figured he should turn to Tony who was already looking more alert.</p><p>“Tony, what happened?”. His voice was low and hoarse, but at least his head had stopped attempting to murder him.</p><p>Before Tony could respond, Rogers interjected (awkwardly Rhodes believed) to state that he was going to get the doctors. In a move that surprised Jim, he went over to his hospital bed and squeezed his hand, mentioning that he’ll be ‘right back’. Jim was far too taken aback to reply but his feeling of unease only heightened.</p><p>Once Captain America had left, Rhodey found that he could actually relax. Tony was on his bed now – a much more welcome visitor – and quickly hugged him.</p><p>“You can’t scare me like that again, Platypus, I’m getting too old for this” which caused both of them to chuckle.</p><p>“Yeah, well you’re not the one who’s feeling it right now. Especially considering I don’t know what ‘it’ is”.</p><p>Tony sat up with a softer smile on his face, the one that Rhodey always had a soft spot for because it was Tony Stark with his guard down. After decades of friendship, he knew the number of people who would see that face could be counted on one hand.</p><p>“It was these alien bots which began attacking in the city. Fury’s intelligence suggests that it was some vendor from Contraxia who dumped his junk supply on Earth. The Guardians are tracking him as we speak.” He sighed, “Anyway, you were fending off a horde trying to enter the car of a family when one jumped on your face plate and electro-shocked you. You went down and we got you to medical asap”.</p><p>“And what about the ro-” Rhodey began</p><p>“The rest of the Avengers took out the remaining bots. I promise it’s all safe you overly professional hero, who <em>will </em>be getting immediate updates to his suit to prevent this from happening again”.</p><p>Rhodey breathed out, feeling assured that he didn’t impede the mission. Honestly, it felt pretty embarrassing that he made such a flippant error to not double check his back, but internally he knew that was the perfectionist colonel in him talking. When there is an immediate danger to civilians, it was always worth risking yourself for their lives.</p><p>“Speaking of professionals, what was with Rogers a minute ago?”</p><p>He had been waiting to bring up the oddity of the Captain’s actions ever since he had left but knew to prioritise personal information first. What he didn’t expect was Tony’s perplexed stare.</p><p>“Wait, what do you mean?” Tony followed, in an equally confused voice</p><p>Rhodey laughed hollowly “seriously? Captain America was virtually in tears in that chair over there and then grabbed my hand. That isn’t weird to you considering everything?”</p><p>Tony stopped. His brows furrowed for a moment before he gazed neutrally at his friend.</p><p>“Honeybear, what’s the last thing you remember?”</p><p>Immediately, the discomfort in the pit of Rhodey’s stomach returned. He wasn’t a stupid person, he knew something was wrong. He searched his mind for answers before stating</p><p>“You renting out the Soho House to screen ‘Notting Hill’ on Valentine’s day for Pepper.”</p><p>Tony froze before his eyes widened and murmured a string of expletives.</p><p>Rhodey’s heart began to race, his worst suspicions quickly being affirmed.</p><p>“Tones” he began slowly, in an attempt to control his voice “how much have I forgotten? A week? A month?”</p><p>“Try fifteen years.”</p><p>Just like that, Rhodey’s heart stopped. Fifteen years. <em>Fifteen years. </em>That was a lifetime: that was birthdays, celebrations, friendships all instantly forgotten. With his mind racing he was suddenly interrupted by a familiarly unwelcome voice.</p><p>“I’m sorry but did you say forget?”</p><p>It was Rogers, this time with a doctor and nurse by his side. He looked pale in contrast to his accusatory voice.</p><p>Tony quickly ushered him outside as the nurse examined him. The doctor proceeded to ask a series of questions and only displayed mild surprise when Jim stated he had previously thought the year was 2019. The doctor laid out how the shock had likely impacted his hippocampus thus resulting in amnesia, although it is likely that his memories would return via the stimulation of his previous routines. Positive news that failed to comfort a man who was still struggling to grasp that it was 2034.</p><p>Eventually, the doctor went outside, presumably to inform Tony of the situation while the nurse administered pain relief to Jim. After 20 minutes, Tony and Rogers re-entered and Rhodey observed that Steve’s face remained as pale as before.</p><p>“Okay” Tony began in his most PR friendly voice “so, we have a lot of catching up to do. Let me take you through the basics. Since you last remembered, Pepper and I got married and had a daughter”.</p><p>Rhodey immediately lit up “Tones, finally! That’s amazing, I can’t believe I’m an uncle”. He had never felt so happy.</p><p>“Actually, you’re a lot more than that. You’re also a dad to three kids – well, teenagers, Morgan insists that’s how I refer to her now.” Tony smiled fondly. It made Jim realise that Tony actually had the aura of a proud dad this entire time. “Their names are Amanza, Kaya and McKai. Amanza and Kaya are twins, now age 16, whilst McKai is Morgan’s age which is 13.”</p><p>This was overwhelming. An hour ago Rhodey felt like a perpetual bachelor who found comfort and strength in his friends and family, but now he was told he was a full on family man with children and…</p><p>“Am I married?” Rhodey asked, hopefully.</p><p>A pause.</p><p>“Yes” Tony responded, though it was with clear apprehension.</p><p>“To who?”</p><p>Another beat. The silence began to fill up the room.</p><p>“To me” Steve whispered, looking up forlornly. His words dripping in heartbreak.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Steve and Rhodey throughout the years.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>September 2018</strong>
</p>
<p>It had been two months since Thanos’ defeat and it felt as if the world was speeding through changes. A revised version of the Accords had been drafted which struck a key balance in allowing imminent threats like Thanos to be dealt with, whilst respecting the Sovereignty of each country. Accountability would be via a chained command, beginning internally and ending at top government levels; this was the culmination of Tony working with community activists and X-Men who had valid reasons to request anonymity. At a larger scale, the world felt better protected and cemented global unity ties, but Rhodey was thinking about the smaller scale.</p>
<p>Personally, it meant he had to deal with transitioning the now pardoned Rogues back into the Avengers initiative, on top of his new responsibilities as co-leader of the Avengers. Tony had understandably limited his position as an avenger on the advice of Pepper (as well as Happy, Peter and Rhodey); everyone close to him knew he had been running on empty for a while, and needed to deal with his various traumas. Although Jim was grateful that his best friend was allowing himself to get better, he wasn’t expecting the role to be so full on straight away. Maybe he should have taken time to deal with his own negative emotional state with the return of the Rogues, but that would have left Rogers as leader. Unfairly or not, Rhodey placed the majority of the blame on him and his stubborn insistence on ‘saving’ his friend from the 1940s. Without the situation escalating to the extent it did, Jim wouldn’t be paralysed, or be talking Tony down from a panic attack every other day, or have gone without contact with Sam and Natasha – two people he had considered friends. Captain America may be co-leading the renewed avengers and may have to have personal strategy meetings with Rhodey, but that didn’t mean they had to be friends. Jim intended to keep Rogers as far away from him unless absolutely necessary.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>February 2019</strong>
</p>
<p>It had been five months since the new Avengers co-leadership arrangement came to fruition, and it had gone off without any overt difficulties.</p>
<p>Until now.</p>
<p>SHIELD had obtained intelligence that a small army of Skrulls intended to land in Manhattan three days from now, in an attempt to infiltrate the Avengers H.Q. It had been four hours since their meeting was supposed to come to a close and yet, here they were still arguing that their respective strategy was superior.</p>
<p>“We can’t take the risk of civilian identity theft, it would completely erode trust in the avengers. It’s much safer to lead the fleet onto our turf” Rogers was clearly exasperated.</p>
<p>“And then what? Another civil war when they use our likeness and we can’t tell who’s real or not?”</p>
<p>“Obviously not, but Stark tech has to be advanced enough to be able to detect a skrull from real humans.”</p>
<p>“Oh, so now you trust Tony?” Rhodey responded dryly.</p>
<p>“That’s it” the Captain had stood up from the wall he was leaning on and sat down on the conference room table where Jim was. “You’ve been making little jabs at me ever since we began working as co-leaders and I’m sick of it. We have to be able to work together Rhodes or we’ll never be able to leave this room.” His demeanor was steely – the air of authority which had only worked to frustrate Jim more.</p>
<p>“Well then, it sounds like the solution to our problem would be for you to step down as leader.” Rhodey was deliberately being facetious, more so to diminish Rogers’ perceived authority than to rile him up.</p>
<p>“What exactly is your problem with me” he snapped back, eyes narrowed. Gone was steady attitude of Captain America, this was an annoyed man.</p>
<p>It caught Jim off guard how venomous his retort was, but it finally felt like a substantive opportunity to get his grievances off his chest.</p>
<p>“My problem is you! Your attitude, your stubbornness, I have a problem with all of it. You went on some secret pet project to go find some guy and threw away everything for him; you have a total disregard for the people around you. Newsflash: Tony is my best friend, I consider him my own family. How dare you keep what happened to his parents from him. Was it not enough to be seen as his moral superior that you had to physically cut him down and <em>leave him </em>in Siberia to die. But I guess I should congratulate you, because you got everything you wanted – you get to lead the avengers, you’re back in public favour and you get to have your best friend back whilst mine is trying to recover in therapy!”</p>
<p>Rhodey was breathing heavily by the end of his speech. He had said it. He really got to let him have it to his face, and it felt joyous. He began collecting his documents when he got a response.</p>
<p>“You think this is everything I wanted?”</p>
<p>Rhodey turned his attention back to Steve, his voice low and slow.</p>
<p>“At what point is getting trapped in ice for seventy years, what I want? At what point did I decide that what I wanted was to see my fellow soldiers die in retirement homes whilst I was stuck like this? Here – in a world where I’m treated like a joke and commanded like a puppet. You wonder why I did what I did, James? Well it’s not the answer you’re expecting! I was lonely. And I had been lonely for a really long time, even before the war. And Bucky was <em>my </em>family, and he was the only thing I could get back that would remind me that I’m real. That I’m not just some drugged up lackey who asks ‘how high’ when the nearest yuppie says jump.”</p>
<p>Suddenly, the malice disappeared. Rogers’ shoulders dropped and he seemed regretful. “I know what I did was wrong. Beyond terrible and I notice every flinch Tony takes when I enter the room. It follows me and haunts me in my dreams… But Bucky was my family and I don’t think I could have survived without him.”</p>
<p>The heaviness of their conversation overwhelmed the room. None of the two men able to look at each other; instead they reflected on what they had heard and what they themselves had said.</p>
<p>“Tony is my best friend. God knows I have broken enough rules for him.” A soft smile of remembrance flashed on Rhodes’ lips “I understand why you did what you did. I don’t like it, but I understand. Sometimes you lose yourself in an attempt to find a better part… just don’t break other people along the way, man.” Rhodey exhaled, not out of disappointment, but from a deep awareness of finality and closure.</p>
<p>“I understand. And for what it’s worth – I am so sorry I broke you and your family along the way.” He was still and mournful, but felt the air clear amongst the deep blue of sky settling in.</p>
<p>Rhodey looked at him as his head was down. Despite the super-serum, Rhodey could see, perhaps for the first time, a human. A human who was trying to make it to the end of each day just like Tony. A human who was trying to find a place for himself in a world not made for him, just like Jim.</p>
<p>“I’ll enquire about FRIDAY’s capabilities in detecting transformed Skrulls. I’ll let you know what I find”</p>
<p>Rogers’ head shot up in shock. Rhodey only smiled.</p>
<p>“I’ll see you tomorrow… Steve.”</p>
<p>As Rhodey  left the conference room he heard a “Goodnight, Jim” follow him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>May 2019</strong>
</p>
<p>In the coming months, tense silences became warm greetings; harsh debate turned to genuine collaboration. It surprised both of them how able they were to be friendly with each other. The effect of this sea change permeated throughout the avengers H.Q. The Rogues began eating with others and Tony had invited Steve to a type of relationship therapy which focused on restorative justice in the wake of the civil war. Things were finally looking up.</p>
<p>So, it was no surprise when Steve ambled into the joint living space where Jim was listening to music as he sorted through his War Machine fan mail and began setting out cutting boards and bowls.</p>
<p>“Hey Jim, you don’t mind if I cook?” he called in an easy tone.</p>
<p>“It’s all good with me, if you don’t mind my music.” he responded in an equal tone, looking up to greet him. Steve smiled sweetly and began taking out various coloured vegetables to chop.</p>
<p>Everything was easy-going as both men enjoyed each other’s company. Rhodes was four songs in when the speaker began blaring a saxophone intro before the voice of Ella Fitzgerald sang</p>
<p>
  <em>‘Stars shining bright above you/ Night breezes seem to whisper ‘I love you’/ Birds singing in the sycamore tree’</em>
</p>
<p>“Dream a little dream of me”</p>
<p>Rhodey and Steve both turned to each other laughing at how they both sang the line at the same time. They let the song play all the way through, each singing at different sections but occasionally joining their voices for a certain line. Steve’s voice was clear but shy – it had all the hallmarks of a man classically trained in a WW2 army who hadn’t the nerve to sing anywhere outside of the shower. This was in contrast to Rhodey’s low and emotional voice which would alternate between singing and sing-speaking the lines. Put together, their sultry harmony could rival the chemistry of Ella and Louis, even if it couldn’t compete against the mastery of their ballads.</p>
<p>Rhodey turned the volume of the next song down and shifted his position to face Steve.</p>
<p>“So, I gather that you’re a fan of the song?” Jim teased, prompting another smile from the other man.</p>
<p>“My mother used to love the song, every time Doris Day would sing it on the radio, she stopped what she was doing to slow dance to it.” The tenderness of the memory evident through his expression “and what about you, you seemed to know it just as well as I did?”</p>
<p>“Similar story, my parents heard this on their first official date and took it as a sign that they were meant to be. The song is a staple in the Rhodes household. That and anything Motown.”</p>
<p>“Motown is the one with Marvin Gaye, right?” Steve vaguely remembered Sam referencing them after receiving the complete oral history of Marvin Gaye’s journey to the Trouble Man album. Rhodey had a smirk on his face.</p>
<p>“Oh Steve, you have not lived until you listened to Motown artists. I hope you have enough food because I am about to take you through everything you need to know: from the Supremes right down to the Jacksons” Rhodey began whilst reaching for his phone to change the speaker’s playlist.</p>
<p>Steve was amused, it wasn’t like he had much else to do for the rest of the night and spending time with Jim was slowly becoming his favourite part of the work week. He grabbed his plate and proceeded to sit down on the couch with Rhodes.</p>
<p>“Okay, but if we do this, I reserve the right to go on an extended diatribe about why baseball isn’t as good as it used be.”</p>
<p>They both exchanged knowing looks.</p>
<p>“Deal.”</p>
<p>‘Baby Love’ by The Supremes began to play.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>February 2020</strong>
</p>
<p>Steve was pacing in his room. Suddenly, he stopped and put on a fake smile “Hey Jim, I was wondering if you would care to join me on a date?” he scrunched his face. “‘Would you care to join me on a date’, who speaks like that? It’s 2020” he whispered to himself, embarrassed.</p>
<p>He began pacing again. Another stop. “Hi Rhodey, I was going to grab a burger, do you want to come?” he began in a strained faux-relaxed voice. Still no – he was asking him out on a date, not a regular lunch between friends.</p>
<p>More pacing and more stopping. “Hey James-”</p>
<p>“Oh God, please make it stop”. Bucky. He was outside his door.</p>
<p>Steve sheepishly opened the door and saw his obviously agitated best friend on the other side, who promptly stepped in.</p>
<p>“You know, the worst thing about having super-hearing, is that you’re constantly forced to hear your punk best friend practice saying ‘Hi Rhodey’ a million times before you even bite into your sandwich!”</p>
<p>Steve’s face reddened, he had hoped that no one would be able to hear him. Bucky’s face softened as he clasped his friend’s shoulder.</p>
<p>“Hey, he likes you. I promise. Just say it in English and I’m sure he’ll get the message”.</p>
<p>Steve brightened up as he realised the ridiculousness of his behaviour.</p>
<p>“Thanks Buck, I needed that”</p>
<p>As the two walked back to the canteen, he passed Rhodey, to which Bucky sharply elbowed him to stop as he shouted “Hey Rhodes!”.</p>
<p>As Bucky continued to the canteen, Rhodey walked over the Steve.</p>
<p>“Hiya Steve, what’s up?”</p>
<p>Steve was caught off guard and began stammering before he pieced the words “Um, burgers? You and me, I was wondering if you would want to…”</p>
<p>At least it was in English, he thought, internally kicking himself.</p>
<p>Jim just burst out laughing before getting a mischievous look on his face.</p>
<p>“Mr Rogers, you’re trying to seduce me, aren’t you?” he teased (he couldn’t resist using a line from one of his favourite movies).</p>
<p>“Um, yes?” Steve relented with a hopeful look.</p>
<p>“You’ve got yourself a date then” Jim grinned before heading to Meeting room C.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>August 2021</strong>
</p>
<p>On the 25<sup>th</sup> day of the month of August 2021, James Rupert Rhodes and Steven Grant Rogers wed in front of their closest friends and family. Steve would go on to invite Mama Rhodes and his father-in-law to join him and his husband for their first dance.</p>
<p>It was to ‘Dream a little dream of me’.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>June 2023</strong>
</p>
<p>The past week had been dedicated to refurbishing their Brooklyn apartment to house their three incoming additions. It was strange to think that in only five days, Steve and Jim would go from their family of two, to a family of five: two twins and their half-brother. They both felt equipped to handle a sibling group now that James had settled into a reduced on-call avengers role, and began his new job as a sponsor and worker for mutual aid organisations; retirement was never an option for Jim when he knew people needed help. However, his role was a lot more flexible and better suited his desire to slow down after decades of physical fighting.</p>
<p>As for the desire to parent, it was something Jim and Steve had always been interested in but became a real urge once Tony and Pepper had their dazzling daughter Morgan. The adoption agency profiled both of them and showed them the reports of their soon-to-be children. Five year old twins Amanza and Kaya with their stunningly toothy grins and darkskin, and a separate folder for two year old McKai who was mixed race with a curly head of hair. Of course Steve and Jim fell in love immediately.</p>
<p>Multiple homestudies, a parenting class, numerous books on understanding race and adoption for Steve, and two in-person meetings with a social worker later, and they were just waiting out the clock until Saturday.</p>
<p>Jim surveyed the girls’ new room and opened the contents of the box in the corner.</p>
<p>“The last box is just your old-timey toothpaste!” Rhodey shouted across the apartment. A second later, and Steve appeared in the doorway with his white shirt and trousers which were covered in dust - a bit of sweat glistened from his forehead.</p>
<p>“I don’t care how much you make fun of me for using that; the Colgate company was really nice to restock a lifetime supply of Kolynos for me.” He entered and picked up the box with ease before pointedly looking at his husband “You’ve still got your class ring. If you get a relic of the past, I get to have a relic of the past” he stated before laughing grandiosely as he exited the room.</p>
<p>“Hey, that’s not a relic! it’s vintage!” He attempted to shout above his husband’s laughter.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>August 2034</strong>
</p>
<p>Rhodey woke up to an empty bed. He slowly turned to the other side to check his watch – 11am – this was a serious lie-in for him. He must not have realised the extent of his exhaustion from attending McKai’s piano recital and subsequently protesting for the removal of the police chief at city hall.</p>
<p>After brushing his teeth and showering, he went into the kitchen where he found his children eating stacks of pancakes, whilst on their phones.</p>
<p>“Morning dad!” that was from Amanza, she didn’t have her headphones in so she was the first to cheerily greet him.</p>
<p>A chorus of ‘good mornings’ followed after, with Steve approaching him with a plate of (way too many) pancakes.</p>
<p>“I thought you could do with a morning in” he stated, squeezing his hands. Rhodey thanked him with a quick kiss before digging in to the pancakes and letting out a satisfied ‘mm’.</p>
<p>Kaya was undoing her plaits from last night and proceeded to brush her hair into an updo, asking McKai to pass her hairband over. Amanza had gotten extension braids done two days ago, in order to suit her look for the concert she was attending with friends this evening. She was fervently texting them for confirmations of times to meet up and locations. Meanwhile, McKai went to help his father wash up the dishes. As he did so, he made sure to give their cat Oscar a stroke when he began to rub against his legs.</p>
<p>Rhodey was happy to just watch his family in silence as he ate, just soaking up the luxuries of domestic life.</p>
<p><em>Ping. </em>An alert from his and Steve’s phone.</p>
<p>They both looked at each other before reading their phones. Something about a sudden onslaught of alien robots in Manhattan that were damaging buildings – all avengers in the immediate area are required.</p>
<p>“Okay then… it looks like your father and I are needed to go stop a threat. It seems low level, but you know the drill” Steve announced.</p>
<p>McKai repeated the rule out loud “If you’re not back before 7pm, head over to aunt Pepper’s”. He said it solemnly causing Steve to ruffle his hair to try and garner a smile from his boy.</p>
<p>Kaya acknowledged the rule whilst Amanza looked shocked “does this mean I can’t go to the concert?” she blurted out.</p>
<p>“No, you should still be able to go. I don’t think anything will happen out there; just keep your phone charged and on you” Rhodey assured her as he hugged her. She loosened up and smiled at her dads.</p>
<p>“Okay, be safe out there.”</p>
<p>Both Jim and Steve had put their gear on and headed for the car and looked back.</p>
<p>Jim answered for them, “We will. Love you.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The aftermath of the revelation creates tension. <br/>Rhodey gets to meet his children.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“No.” Rhodey is looking directly at Steve, with anger in his eyes. “I don’t believe you.”</p>
<p>“Rhodey” Tony tries to explain but Jim almost desperately interrupts.</p>
<p>“No, Tony. Tell me this is a joke.”</p>
<p>“It’s not.” Steve this time. He still has the same broken tone and hurt look on his face. “I’m telling the truth. We’re married Jim”</p>
<p>Hearing Rogers say his name so casually caused something deep inside Rhodey to snap, and his words reflected this.</p>
<p>“I have nothing to say to you. Less than nothing. You tried to kill my friend.” He turned his attention towards Tony who was looking increasingly distressed by the second “Tony, he nearly killed you! Or am I now the only person who remembers this?” he stated incredulously.</p>
<p>Tony hung his head down and began rhythmically breathing. Steve was staring at Rhodey; he was searching for something, but Jim wasn’t sure what. A moment later, Steve gathered himself and became the person Jim knew – Rogers. His voice was firm and steady, the same one he uses as Captain America. He wasn’t talking to Rhodey, most likely in an attempt to honour his wish, but instead addressed the room.</p>
<p>“I can see that this is an intense situation, and I don’t wish to cause you any further distress. I think it would be best if I waited outside until Pepper and the kids get here.” With that, he swiftly exited the room whilst Rhodey purposefully held his gaze in the opposite direction.</p>
<p>It would be another half an hour until Rhodey would catch a glimpse of him again. In the meantime, Tony sat on his bed, gently hugging his friend and showing him pictures of his children. It was a solace he needed after the dizzying revelations of the past few hours.</p>
<p>Then, all at once, a girl with braids ran into the room and tightly hugged him, with a muffled “Dad” being said into his hospital gown. Jim instinctively reciprocated the hug. Instantly, another girl followed, with an afro puff who shouted “Amanza! He doesn’t remember you, you can’t just accost people with amnesia!”</p>
<p>Rhodes stared at the two girls in front of him, both looking distressed but handling it in their own unique ways.</p>
<p>“You must be Amanza and Kaya. I’m sorry I can’t remember you but I can already tell I would do anything for you.” He had meant it, he had never felt such feelings of love in his life. It was all-encompassing. It had immediately got Amanza crying again and earned him a hug from Kaya who mumbled an ‘I love you’.</p>
<p>Another girl then entered: brown haired, lanky and with a look that Rhodey recognised as Tony’s overanalysing face from their MIT days. She walked in and embraced Tony.</p>
<p>Rhodey was shocked “Wow, you’re really all Tony!” he couldn’t help but blurt out.</p>
<p>“That’s certainly what every mother wants to hear after nine months of pregnancy”. Just then, Pepper waltzed inside, in a glamourous navy pantsuit and freshly done hair. She was as polished as ever and had showed no signs of aging. “Hi handsome, sorry about the knock to your head” she said, as she gave Rhodey a kiss on the forehead, which made him grin.</p>
<p>“Pepper, how do you do it?” he joked.</p>
<p>Pepper responded with a turn of the head and a secretive look before laughing. She greeted her Tony, her <em>husband</em>, before quickly redirecting her attention to comforting Amanza and Kaya.</p>
<p>Rhodey felt elated, he had his family in front of him, old and new (somewhat). He was perplexed as to where McKai was before seeing him further out from the door with Steve. He looked anxious and Steve was bending down to talk into his ear as the boy clung onto him. It was a sweet scene but it made Jim uncomfortable; Steve was clearly McKai’s father and so was Jim, but surely they couldn’t have…</p>
<p>“Hi dad.” A small voice piped out from the door. Steve hung back, checking on him intently.</p>
<p>“Hi bud, it’s nice to see you” Rhodey wanted to emulate the tone of a knowing father and surprised himself when it came easily. Clearly it was authentic, as the boy smiled and moved further into the room.</p>
<p>After all the greetings had been achieved, Kaya enquired whether he was returning home with them because “dad said that they can discharge you right now.”</p>
<p>Rhodey felt a bit sick. Not physically, but was he prepared to enter a home he didn’t know in order to live with a person he didn’t trust?</p>
<p>One look at his children’s faces and he knew.</p>
<p>“Yes, I’m ready to go now.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Rhodey's memories return with a notable exception.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Returning home wasn’t as daunting as he thought it would be. Tony drove Rhodey back, explaining all the security measures in the house and repeatedly mentioning that if he needs anything “anything at all, you know where to find me.”</p>
<p>The apartment was stunning with its essence of at-homeness – it had definitely been lived in. Upon entering, he was faced with pictures of his children throughout the years, various knick-knacks and a wedding picture that Rhodey made a point to avoid. Although he expected to regain some of his memories, the speed at which they returned was incredible.</p>
<p>After he entered the house, a white and black cat came and rubbed against his leg. McKai quickly followed to pick him up saying “Oh, that’s just our cat” to which Rhodey responded with saying his name.</p>
<p>“Oscar.”</p>
<p>McKai seemed stunned as Rhodey continued “You got your purple belt in Karate and had been begging for a pet for a while. We entered the shelter together after your competition”.</p>
<p>McKai stared at him with mouth hung open before running around the apartment yelling “Dad remembered something! He remembered Oscar! Kaya, Amanza! Dad remembered a memory of me!”</p>
<p>It was the cutest thing Jim had seen and had caused quite an uproar in the house. The girls immediately bombarded him with questions and other objects to see if he would remember but Steve quickly put a stop to that.</p>
<p>“Girls, your father just came home. Give him a minute to adjust.” His gaze was sympathetic as the girls walked back to their rooms. He began to pick up the objects they had left on the counter before moving to take Jim’s bag.</p>
<p>“I’ve got it.” Rhodey cut in before he could touch it. He knew Steve was only doing it out of kindness but he couldn’t reconcile the man attempting to pick up his bags for him with the person that had indirectly caused his paralysis and nearly killed his friend. Steve flinched at his tone, before murmuring an apology and turning away.</p>
<p>Over the next few days, the doctor’s prediction that moderate routine would restore his memory was proven correct. He remembered Amanza and Kaya’s first day of school and their devastation of being in different classes. He remembered the first protest he attended as an official organiser after his semi-retirement. He remembered Tony’s breathless phone call that Pepper was in labour, as he was shopping for groceries. Piece by piece, it all came back together – except for memories involving Steve. This was obviously a huge hindrance as their lives had been quite intimately intertwined for the past fifteen years, yet through sheer unconscious stubbornness, any memory that did not involve Steve came back, and those that did remained forgotten.</p>
<p>Tony had been keeping in contact daily since the incident, but on the sixth day back Tony called again at 10pm.</p>
<p>“Tones? What’s up?” Rhodey asked, slightly sleepily.</p>
<p>“I’ve found something about those alien robots that could get you your memory back. That’s what’s up!” Tony sounded victorious which was always followed by a dash of Tony Stark brand smugness “didn’t I tell you I’m the best!”</p>
<p>Yeah, there it was.</p>
<p>“Wow, Tones. How can I get them back?”</p>
<p>“Okay, so apparently these creatures will cause a person to regain every memory of a chosen person all at once when they have died. It’s meant to feel euphoric, like heroin but for love and it’s supposed to help with grief. Rocket was telling me that they went out of fashion on Contraxia because these new models came in pill form that would allow a person to experience this multiple times with different people, which sounds really interesting but also unethical in the sense that it’s just delaying the inevitable acceptance of…”</p>
<p>“Tony. Focus.” Rhodey felt a tangent coming.</p>
<p>“Oh yeah right, this is about you.” He laughed “When these bots got dumped on Earth, the change in  atmosphere caused them to rewire and, outside of causing destruction to property, it inverted their programming. Platypus, it took <em>away </em>your memories of a person still here, instead of giving you memories of a person gone.”</p>
<p>It didn’t take any effort to guess who the impacted person was.</p>
<p>“The funny thing is, the face plate did shield you to it taking away all the memories, hence the fifteen years shaved off. The solution is surprisingly simple, at least according to my hypothesis. Simply any type of intimate contact with the person you’re forgetting: it would alert the system that the person ‘gone’ is in fact still alive and thus the consequence of the programming would be reversed.”</p>
<p>Rhodey’s face was unamused. “You mean to tell me-”</p>
<p>“True love’s kiss, Honeybear. It will solve all your problems.”</p>
<p>Then Tony hung up.</p>
<p>More and more, Rhodey began to resent alien technology. Although he hated thinking anything favourable about the man, Jim knew that Steve would never try anything without his consent. The ball was squarely in his court.</p>
<p>It was this thought which clung to him as he entered the kitchen from the guest room for something to soothe his mind and help him sleep. As he entered, he saw Steve sitting there with his head in his hands; Jim knew Tony must have informed him. Even now, the concept of those two speaking, willingly, was staggering. Steve was alerted by his footsteps and sat up in his chair. The supersoldier seemed tired, a state rarely seen due to the strength of the serum.</p>
<p>“Hey, can’t sleep?” Steve asked softly.</p>
<p>“I just needed some tea” was the response, stated plainly but without the usual bite to it.</p>
<p>“Here, I’ve got you. I ended up perfecting this blend of lavender and chamomile five years ago when Amanza got ill; it does the trick every time.”</p>
<p>Rhodey sat and watched as Steve went through the process of boiling the water and bringing out measuring spoons to get the right proportion of lavender and chamomile to strain. He didn’t know why he was allowing him to make this. It must have been because everyone else was asleep and he didn’t want to wake anybody up by protesting, but deep down he knew otherwise.</p>
<p>Steve brought the tea to Rhodey in a purple mug and sat it down in front of him carefully. Jim stared at it for a bit.</p>
<p>“Are you not going to try it? It’s really good, trust me.” The same gentle tone.</p>
<p>“Why should I?” Jim answered, but once again without any malice. Only the subtle undercurrent of sadness; he genuinely want to know.</p>
<p>It made Steve’s shoulders sag. It made his head go back in his hands before he stared up with a blank gaze.</p>
<p>“Maybe because we’ve been married for thirteen years? Maybe because we have children together. Maybe because I love you.” The exhaustion seeped out of him.</p>
<p>“Don’t say that.” The walls of defensiveness began to build back up.</p>
<p>“Why not, it’s the truth Jim. I love you, and you love me, but for the past six days I’ve been eating dinner alone and going to bed alone” he was very pointed and emphasised each alone with a look right into his eyes.</p>
<p>“I-” Rhodey started, completely thrown off by the intensity of the vulnerability Rogers was displaying. He tried to gather himself using the only emotion that felt known – animosity. “I don’t know about the person that had been with you those thirteen years ago, but I don’t owe you anything.”</p>
<p>“So you’re just going to throw away fifteen years of your life – <em>our </em>life, for something no one is concerned about anymore?” Steve’s volume was elevated, just below what would be necessary to wake anyone up, but enough to highlight his growing agitation.</p>
<p>“It’s still fresh to me!” Rhodey snapped back “It still hurts to me, and from where I’m standing, what you did was unforgivable.”</p>
<p>Silence.</p>
<p>“Jim, I don’t… I don’t want to argue with you. I just…” Steve was quickly spiralling and losing his ability to articulate what he wanted to say,</p>
<p>“You forgave me.” was all he could manage.</p>
<p>“Well maybe I shouldn’t have” was all Rhodey could say back.</p>
<p>He walked away from the kitchen, the tea sitting lukewarm on the counter. It’s a shame, he really would have liked to try it.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Some soul searching leads to realisations.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was the next day and Jim decided he needed a break from the apartment. Steve was out grocery shopping while the girls and McKai all seemed content to watch movies or scroll through social media for the remainder of the day. The drive to Tony’s was nice. By this point, he must have made enough solo trips from his house to Tony’s for it resurface in his memories.</p>
<p>When he arrived, he was welcomed by a bear hug from Morgan who began talking about being chosen as her school’s representative for a state’s science fair and that, as her uncle, he just had to come. He chuckled “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”</p>
<p>He walked down into the lab to find Tony working on another War Machine faceplate; if there’s one thing about Tony Stark, it’s that he’ll always keep his promise to upgrade equipment.</p>
<p>“Hey Tones.” Tony continued to screw in the last bolt before turning around to his friend.</p>
<p>As expected, he received the same bear hug before Tony moved away with a semi-serious pouting expression.</p>
<p>“Hey sourpatch. I really thought the next time I saw you, you would have all your memories intact. Want to tell me why that’s not the case?”</p>
<p>Rhodey sighed, he knew he was going to be questioned on this, but held out hope that he could just watch Tony work on his suit. At the same time, all he needed to do was ask Tony not to talk about it and he wouldn’t. He felt he needed to answer, more for himself than anyone else.</p>
<p>“I just don’t trust him after everything he’s done. I guess time doesn’t heal all wounds.”</p>
<p>Pathetic, he thought. Tony would not let that slide and, judging by his bemused look, it didn’t.</p>
<p>“Uh... I’m sorry who am I speaking to right now, because I thought I was speaking to my best friend Rhodey?” he began sarcastically “And Rhodey is one of the smartest people I know, especially when it comes to figuring out people’s true intentions. There is no way you believe Steve is as dangerous or as untrustworthy as you did fifteen years ago. I won’t accept that because if you had even an ounce of concern about that, you wouldn’t have allowed that man to meet your family, or start a family with you. You know that.”</p>
<p>Tony’s words had cut deep. It was the elephant in the room that no-one had dared bring up before now. It was the wind that blew down the house of cards and all it left Rhodey with was the foundation.</p>
<p>Rhodey’s foundation was when he was still going by James in middle school. He was walking home when some white highschoolers began throwing stones at him from their bikes, yelling the N-word. James had ran home with tears prickling in his eyes. It was freezing that day which was surely the reason they didn’t actually flow out (or at least that’s what he told himself). Either way, by the time he entered his house he had no tears. He spotted his father’s pocket knife. The next day those high schoolers had no useable bikes.</p>
<p>His foundation. It was when he first arrived at MIT and felt the freedom to finally act on a sexuality he had long repressed. It was kissing Joshua Perkins behind the secret club wall, feeling as if his body made sense for the first time. Two weeks later Joshua Perkins had a girlfriend and had thrown Jim under the bus to assuage speculations of his own sexuality. He was “totally straight” and the only reason people questioned him was because “that homo Jim Rhodes tried to kiss me while I was sleeping”. ‘Someone’ ended up alerting the Dean that Joshua Perkins ran a cheating ring across the chemistry department. Josh was expelled: no diploma, no girlfriend.</p>
<p>It was a foundation that followed him as Rhodes, the soldier. His lieutenant had the biggest chip on shoulder and regularly took it out on Rhodes. The worst jobs, the most pushups, the angriest yells. It would have broken any other man, but it added to his foundation.</p>
<p>When Rhodes became a Colonel, that lieutenant, who failed to rise through the ranks, found himself dishonourably discharged after a spontaneous investigation.</p>
<p>That was his foundation.</p>
<p>And yet.</p>
<p>And yet, after everything Steve Rogers had done, Rhodey wound up married to him. He had <em>forgiven</em> him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rhodey looked back at Tony. “I don’t know who I am, if I forgive the people who’ve hurt me.”</p>
<p>That was it as succinctly as he could explain it, and Tony understood what he meant.</p>
<p>“Rhodey. You’re still you. You’re the guy who makes everyone laugh at Christmas because you change those horrible Christmas cracker jokes into something actually funny. You’re the person who will take a flight from anywhere in the world at a moment’s notice because you found out my parents died, and who did it again when I fell down from space. You’re the person who never stops fighting for the little guy, not for fame and congratulations, but because you thinks it’s right. You’re my Honeybear, and you’re so much more than how you respond to trauma.”</p>
<p>Tony’s voice had started to break as he listed off all the reasons he loved his friend and Rhodey allowed himself to cry. He cried for the James that didn’t have any tears that day he was abused, and for the Jim that had his heart broken by his first crush, and for the Rhodes whose arms were burning after being force to do 100 additional push ups.</p>
<p>When he stopped crying, he sat by Tony and watched him upgrade his suit. When the sky turned from blue to orange, he got in his car and drove home. He saw Steve set out plates for the dinner that was to be served in an hour.</p>
<p>Rhodey cleared his throat.</p>
<p>“Can we talk?”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A long overdue conversation between Rhodey and Steve.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Steve looked taken aback. He even looked to the side to check that his husband wasn’t actually asking for one of their children to chat.</p><p>“Sure, whatever you need” his tone was uncertain, their argument yesterday had instilled a growing sense of hopelessness for the life he once knew.</p><p>He proceeded to follow Jim to the couch, removing the charger cords and jackets that he had told Amanza to clear up before she went out shopping. Jim was looking at him. In fact, Jim was examining him with eyes that seemed different somehow.</p><p>“I’m sorry for what I said to you yesterday, and at the hospital. I’m honestly sorry for the way I’ve acted towards you this entire time.” He stated this like it was a fact but his demeanour uncovered the sincerity of the message.</p><p>Steve blinked twice. To say this was unexpected would be an understatement; he wanted to ask where this was coming from but similarly didn’t wish to push his luck.</p><p>“I can tell you find this surprising. I’m as shocked as you are if it helps” he said, letting out a hollow laugh “Tony made me realise that I didn’t actually have an issue with you, I had some unresolved issues with myself. I tend to operate on a ‘one strike and you’re out’ situation for anyone attempting to get into my inner circle and I truthfully couldn’t fathom someone who had made the choices that you did, making it in. I didn’t want to be the person who let their guard down and got hurt in the end. I didn’t want to be a pushover.”</p><p>By now, Steve had recovered from his speechlessness and was attentively accepting this information. When he was sure that Jim had finished, he looked him in the eyes and said</p><p>“You are not a pushover. I don’t think you could be one even if you tried. First of all, you absolutely tore me a new one right before I could earn the right to a ‘good morning’ back. Seriously, I went through a pretty deep ego death.” He had got Rhodey laughing and took it as a good sign to continue. “I messed up in the past – badly. I don’t want to dispute that, but your forgiveness and Tony’s and everyone else’s, it was the strongest act I had ever witnessed. Not because it was for me, but because it was a radical type of love that told me you weren’t prepared to lose yourself to anger and hate. I wish I was better at articulating this, you always have the right words for these occasions.”</p><p>He was looking at Rhodey the same way he had first seen from the hospital bed. The look that had disconcerted him so much. A look that Rhodey now accepted as love, complete and unconditional.</p><p>“Jim, your forgiveness isn’t a weakness, it’s a challenge that I’m grateful you gave me. But you also kick ass and take names, I wouldn’t be in love with you if you-”</p><p>He was interrupted by Jim kissing him.</p><p>Jim was kissing him.</p><p>It was like a heater that turned on after you stopped noticing you were freezing: it was life giving.</p><p>When Jim broke apart, he chuckled.</p><p>“You and that damn toothpaste”</p><p>Steve laughed to stop himself from crying and brought him in for another kiss. They both failed to realise Kaya had walked in on them.</p><p>They promptly noticed when she shouted “Dad’s back for real now!” at her loudest volume to reach her siblings.</p><p>Rhodey started grinning widely. His husband in front of him as his other two kids ran into the room. He looked over at the home he built up over the past fifteen years. The memories flooding back in a rush that matched the instant high Tony had described.</p><p>“Yeah, I’m home.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for reading until the end, let me know what you thought!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>